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Social Poaching
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Social Poaching7/31/2008 3:51 PM EST How many of you have been a victim of this...sort of an interesting phenomenon...I know lots of people across multiple social groups but something I never really thought about. I am sure that I have met some people like this...funny that people are so sensative to it and that it has a label. When 'social poachers' snatch your friends  http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/07/31/lw.social.poaching/index.html?iref=mpstoryview"social poaching" -- when a friend or acquaintance mines your social network, without permission, for friends or romantic partners.
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Re: Social Poaching7/31/2008 10:54 PM EST { In reply to sailor_mom } "Social Poaching"? More like insecurity. Sounds like a bunch of people with extra grant money sitting around trying to label things as they do everything nowadays. Give it a rest.
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Re: Re: Social Poaching 8/4/2008 10:32 AM EST { In reply to mulva } I think has happened to me twice. Once a handful of years ago and once more recently. I don't care about the 'stealing my friends' angle but I really believe that I have met these people whose interest in you is really shallow but doesn't initially come across that way. They only want to meet you/hang out with you to tie into your social network. We had a different name for the person that did it a few years back and the person that is doing it now is bizzare to watch because if they meet someone with better connections then you, they move on or are not as 'clingy' to you ... weird I say.
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Re: Re: Re: Social Poaching 8/4/2008 4:03 PM EST { In reply to sailor_mom } I have to admit that is weird, sailor mom. People in general are weird. You never really can trust anyone these days, seems they always have a hidden agenda. Anyone that would try and "steal" someone else's friends aren't worth the time of day anyway. They deserve each other.
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Re: Re: Social Poaching 8/5/2008 9:30 AM EST { In reply to mulva } I'm sure if you dig deep enough, everyone who has been new to an area has been guilty of this to some degree. After all, if your goal is to find friends (or lovers), then it stands to reason that you'll be treading on someone else's turf until you're accepted by that group. So I guess the difference between finding a social group and "social poaching" is whether or not you are accepted. Nevertheless, I think this has happened to me a couple of times, but I'm sure in my search for friends amongst less-than-kind peers, I could have been accused of it.
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Re: Social Poaching 8/5/2008 11:43 AM EST { In reply to sailor_mom } I have several circles of friends, so it's happened a lot. It is wierd when your friends that met through you hang out together and don't invite you along, but I don't really care.
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Re: Re: Re: Social Poaching 8/5/2008 2:51 PM EST { In reply to atreyu } atreyu, I think that is the bottom line...I have been told that I am very welcoming and even people who have "moved on" have come back and said "if it wasn't for you being so nice to me" they would never have been welcomed into the group. To some degree it is a reflection of people and the cliques that get created. As a child we had block parties and neighborhood gatherings and I did some of that as a single mom but it just doesn't seem to fit into lifestyles anymore...at least not like that. People seem to be more seperated (or gathered) by their interests, their jobs, or their children and not letting one encroach on the other. I think for the most part it doesn't bother me and at times it is almost entertaining to watch but still very very odd if you truly are just trying to be nice.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Social Poaching 8/5/2008 4:08 PM EST { In reply to sailor_mom } I'm trying to steal everyones friends.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Social Poaching 8/5/2008 5:28 PM EST { In reply to X-Fusion } I suspected you were the type.
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