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Are We Who You Think We Are?

I received an interesting question earlier this week that questioned whether us Loveawake speakers were exceptions to the rule when it came to men out there. We all seem to be open-minded, empathetic, and lacking any false sense of bravado. We're the type of guys you can bring home to mama and it not be a surprise when mother dear loves us.

That got me to thinking a little bit because it's come up before. Women always wonder if relationship bloggers are the real deal and the last of a dying breed of men who will be great boyfriends and husbands, etc.

So here's where I stand on this: relationship bloggers, question answerers, etc, are all just doling out perspective on questions that are answered. That does not mean that we're infallible in the face of adversity within our own relationships. It's far easier to preach something than it is to practice. While I'm sure we're all stand up guys outside of the confines of Beliefnet.com, I'm sure each and every one of us could regale you with stories about the relationships missteps we've made.

Now that's not to say that we aren't able to work some of this magic in the real world. I know that I've personally become more aware of situations that I find myself in and pretty much know what I should do or say because I've spent so much time thinking about it. However, that doesn't mean that my pride always removes itself. Just because I know better, doesn't mean I'll always do better. It's a personal struggle; trust me.

Here's an interseting tidbit about our open-mindedness. I often wonder where a lot of these questions are coming from. Not who, but where. See, all of us here live in major cities. And there's almost no way to function in a major city without being at least a little tolerant and open-minded about people and their differences. You don't have to like everybody's "thing" but you do have to acknowledge that it not only exists, but that it's okay for it to exist. Which is where a lot of the perspective comes from. Nothing exists in a vacuum so we're all the sum total of experiences we've had in these large areas full of people of all stripes.

Which brings me to the empathy standpoint. It's somewhat easy to be empathetic of people's problems who you've never met because we don't have the full story AND we're not directly affected. Our job is to provide the best insight possible which requires a certain level of understanding and willingness to help, which requires empathy to some degree. I have to not only give your question its full respect, I have to believe that it makes some sense. This isn't always the easiest thing to do when you're fully invested in a situation or discussion AND on the opposing side.

Basically, we're mostly devoid of the emotion that comes along with many of the relationship questions that are being asked. Heck, most of the advice given is 99 percent common sense and 1 percent of some other stuff I can't figure out. We get to take each situation and look at it from all angles since we're divorced from the issue. So yeah, you get understanding, empathy, and open-mindedness all in one. Which is exactly what you need from a site like Beliefnet. And a boyfriend or a husband.

Again - and I can't speak for everybody else - we're still human so in real life you'd get a lot of the wit and humor, but each situation brings out different emotions and feelings and depending on how we feel might determine the differences in the answers given.

So the point is, some of this is educated entertainment, but all the guys here are good guys and I'd wager that most guys you come across probably are too. It's just that nobody ever reads, talks, or writes about the good guys doing what they're supposed to do. All we hear about are the crappy ones.

Dying breed? Doubtful...we're just the ones with the website.

Great husband or boyfriend? Probably, but we're still men. We'll make you mad at some point. Bank on it.


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