When Rocket Science Meets Incompetence

Just another gas can, NOT!

 So, after rolling my eyes a few dozen times, complaining, and basically acting the old curmudgeon that I am, I said, “Sure, why not?”

 So down to that quaint little old mom and pop, Wal-Mart we went on a mission to purchase a new gas can. You see, I was under the impression that this was going to take about 10 minutes and then we could park our butts in a local watering hole and enjoy the afternoon. Silly me. You can’t find anything in that … er … store.

 After wandering around for what seemed like hours, and watching my wife buy a few new articles of clothing, a new mop, some new-fangled thing-a-ma-jig to clean the bathroom (I smell honey-dos coming, ugh!) we find a gas can – that’s it! One lousy gas can!

 My eyes were tired from rolling around in my head, so I bought the damn thing and we went home – our favorite waterhole of all.

 Well, this morning I actually looked at the gas can. Damn! This thing takes two 10-year-olds and a rocket scientist to figure out. There are do-hickey things all over the nozzle, with half the can containing instructions on how to assemble and use the gas can; an instruction manual written by rocket scientists just for people like me – old incompetent codgers that are dumb. I mean we just unscrew the top, fill the thing with gas, screw the top back on and then use the gas when we need it, right?

 Not this piece of high-tech plastic. First you have to slide part B into part A, making sure the slide switch C interlocks, so that A and B marry correctly. Then the locking device F, snug’s against seal E and the final do-hickey part D (?) is set to pour gas. Of course, before it can pour gas, you have to fill it. Reverse instructions one through 20 to undo the super secure gas can nozzle from the can to fill.

High-Tech Nozzle has more moving parts than  my Jeep!

 Oh, there was one warning – DO NOT LOSE THESE INSTRUCTIONS!

 Trust me, I won’t be losing the instructions, but there will be a brand spanking new donation at the next local thrift shop I pass – a bright shiny new, fully assembled rocket scientist-approved gas can!

 I drive an old car, my wife can put up with the smell of my leaky can a while longer. The car doesn’t care. Or, maybe I will just quit cutting the grass and solve two problems.